Been a busy month for me with it not slowing up..but that is okay. I prefer it like that. I really dislike the area I live in and keeping busy keeps my mind off the fact that I am still existing in this pit lol. One of the things that has happened to me this month was with my dad. I remember falling asleep and waking up a bit later but with the presence of my dad in the room. Let me explain how I feel where and what my dad is. My dad was very evil on this earth. One of the most vile evil demons to be allowed up from the pits of Hell. My dad killed himself proclaiming to me that he would get me in death as he tried in life for ruining him. I turned my dad in for incest/molesting/raping/physically abusing me and at that point the demon that consumed my dad hated me for breaking the generations of abuse he has inflicted upon my dads side of the family. And this demon that consumed my father came to me when my dad killed himself and this demon walked with me till I found God and that really angered this demon...I call this demon my dad because that is all I knew of my dad was this demon. So henceforth I call this demon my father. Back to when I woke up and felt this demon, my father, in the room...I not only felt him but I smelled him...my father had a particular scent..whether demons have scents I do not know but this demon did. At the time I woke up sensing his presence I felt the hand of God wrap around me tightly with a static of ready for war feeling...but I also felt this demon and what it was feeling...it was submissive. It knew the hand of God was around me. It knew the King of Kings was its true God. And in this submissive feeling I also felt and heard this demon or my father speak to me. He said he was sorry for all that he had done to me and had tried to do. He knew I forgave him years ago but I wanted to say he was sorry and he also said that he was proud of what I had become in Christ. And I felt this apology was true and from the man my father was supposed to be while he was alive. At this turning point I felt sorrow. Sorrow because I know what my father is and whom he serves in Hell. He will never know the Glory of God truly like I have experienced on this earth. And I started to cry. Cry for joy that this demon was done with me, crying because this demon was sentenced to a life of misery and slave to the Devil. In that moment I became grateful to my Father that he saved me from that afterlife sentence. I prayed and gave thanks for all that I have been allowed to have in the light of God and to share it with others.
Now this demon left me. And joy of the Lord filled me. I cannot say this demon, my father will not try again to attack me as he is a servant of the Devil. I am sure the Devil tortured my father because of his submissiveness to the will of God. But that is the price one pays with not walking with God while on this earth. Once you die without taking God into your life and saving you...you are unsavable. You end up like my father. This was a significant event because it shows me that my path with God is even stronger. It shows me he loves me and highly favors me. And the peace this gave me was amazing.
God is moving me along closing this chapter of my life to ready me for the next chapter. Another event that happened this month is God shown me more of my journey for when little man and I make our move to Chicago. In our lives in Chicago God revealed to me that Chicago holds love of a family, meaning those at SOF. Let me go back a bit. Before I moved to Pa I stood at a cross roads in life. And Pa was not on God's agenda for myself and my kids. But I ignored the will of God for me and I came to Pa. This so angered God that I was defiant. He punished me for not following him. But in that punishment I grew because I had to strip myself of who I was and become a new person in God. In my time here, even though I really strongly disliked it here, God has formed me into who he wants me to be. I have learned patience, faith, love, humility, to be humble...to live in the today and what I have. Not materialism nor living on pride. I was stripped of money, possessions, my children in order for God to grasp me fully. And because of my obedience to him, my faith in trust in him...with time he gave me what I needed to live through him. He built me up to who I am now. I got my kids back, I regained financial stability, I have the possessions I need. My wants are what God wants for me. Nothing more. I crave only his knowledge and wisdom...which I have gained much with lots more to come.
Now back to what the good Lord has shown me he has in store for little man and I . Because of my change and full faith in him these past years he took me on a trip of what he has in store. He led me to SOF which has become a family to me. He shown me how he is going to continue to work in me to shine his light brighter than ever to reach those Satan has under his veil of darkness....I will get to finish my book up and with some media contacts I have stored away it will take flight and sore to heights even I have dreamed about. I will get to take my dream of speaking about what my journey has been to others...he shown me a good mass of people who will come hear me...some will still turn from God and some will come to his will for them. He shown me SOF will play an intricate part of little man's and my life with my ministry in guiding and teaching people. SOF is going to grow fast! God has his hand on that ministry!!
His miracles and blessings can come from anywhere!! I found my church family through the social media site at Facebook. I have been led to many brothers and sisters in Christ on Facebook. I was led to an amazing mentor of a woman. Prophetess Sherry. One amazing woman of God. And there have been others God has used from time to time to mentor me for a short season. I praise God for them all!!
I have to still take the last steps to remove the physical scars my dad left on me...I have having all my adult teeth removed and having false teeth put in...I was embarrassed about it at first and humiliated but God said not to be...if people judge me because of this then they were never my true friends. He shown me what I will look like after all is said and done and I had the biggest smile on my face and I was so beautiful inside and out...brightly shining a light that blinded even me at the time he was blessing me with this vision. I was fit and toned up...I had a huge smile and I looked just wow lol...and I went yesterday and dove in got my hair cut and styled. It was a shock to loose 5 inches of hair but once I got to playing with it and styling on my own...I even bought make up...and after experimenting I looked in the mirror and again cried tears of joy because I began to see that same beautiful woman God has shown me some time ago. And I thanked God right there and then.
My journey is about over here. My new journey is about to begin. This move is in the will of God. My whole life now is in the will of God. I am excited about all he has in store for little man and I. The new family in Christ, .so many other things....just amazing...God is amazing, awesome, wonderful, beautiful!! His works are awesome if we just wait in his timing!! There is life after even the severest of abuses like mine as a child!! There is love, there is smiles, there is laughter, there is sunshine and no more darkness!! That is my story so far....to be continued...may you all be truly Godly blessed!!
