CLOSING DOORS TO OPEN WINDOWS

Trying out some of the new changes on this blog site :-). Anyway, I want to share what I have been going through during my healing time from my surgery. I have been thinking a lot about what God has shown me what is waiting for little man and I in Chicago. Something happened where one of the paths I was shown has shifted and I do not know the direction now but I am okay with it because all of Gods works for us have been perfect. Another shifting is that my love to move to Ireland was not granted. Ireland is in a horrible state of affairs about like this country is and it broke my heart to have that journey denied but it is for the best...so I am seeking prayer on moving to Australia to be with my awesome sister in Christ Vikki. I have known her on fb for over 4 yrs. now. She has seen me at my best and worst and has stood by me through it all. I love her so much. So praying Australia is a place I can go to in the next few years. God's will not mine. And right now I have to focus on Chicago for little man and I. 


Once we get there...I will be granted a time frame of relaxing but not long because there is a lot of work to be done. One thing I have to do is close some doors and open some windows to my life. One door I have to close is to visit my parents grave site. It is a mixed bag of why I have to go there. One being I want them to both see what they failed at making me and what God succeeded at building up and still continues to build. I want to take some time to cry for the sadness of actually missing them despite their evil, wicked ways. They are missing out on one awesome daughter lol...they are missing out on some awesome grand kids. And I have to let that all go. And I want to tell them that I do love them...despite their sickness in life I have found love for them in my heart. Like I said a mixed bag of things for this door to close.


Another door to close is the fear I have about my moms side of the family. Some cousins I kinda remember as a child. Bits and pieces of memories but good memories. They are a very close knit family. I want to meet them all again. I want to have that "family" connection dad denied me as a kid from everyone. It may not be the close bond they have together but it will be a connection. I am scared because I have been a loner all my life for the most part and that family thing just sends chills down my spine lol...I will be nervous but again it is to close the door on my fear and open the window to new relationships. 


So two hurdles that I know of that God will see me through!! I am so excited about this journey. I have to do this in order to be uplifted to the next level God has waiting for me. My heart has to be completely pure. I am right where God wants me to be in his will. He has me built up from nothing to something that will shine his truth even brighter than before. I live to glorify his name. My journey is for a higher purpose in his will for us. And what a journey it has been!! God bless to you all!!